When you think stag what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Booze? Strippers? Realising that teaming up to play the back half of a pantomime horse was funny at the planning stage, but much less funny when half way through an epic 12 hour pub crawl? No. It’s stag night pranks and practical jokes. There can’t be a greater cliché of the stag night than the poor groom chained to a lamp post in ladies underwear. From time immemorial it’s the last chance the groom’s friends have to get him to hang around and go down the pub with them. But also by surviving the previous night’s shenanigans and still turning up on time for the wedding, the groom has proved his true commitment. Of course any prank can go horribly wrong. There is a legend that the Crusades were actually started by several hundred hung over knights waking up on the slow boat to the Holy Land, when they were supposed to be in various churches the next day. Or that the US space programme achieved its first moon landing as way of ensuring Neil Armstrong was as far from the church as was humanly possible But seriously; alcohol, late evenings and high emotions can be a potentially dangerous combination.
So here’s some basic tips: plan the prank when you’re sober and think about the risk. Leaving someone chained to a lamp post in the cold could actually kill them. If you do dump the hapless groom on a train in the wrong direction last thing at night, do you really want him to miss his wedding? Here are four stag night pranks up for grabs:
1. Hire a Surprise Stripper
OK this is one of the classics. Hire a stripper to pretend to be a cross police woman or traffic warden, etc. Watch in amusement as WPC Annie Thingusay starts actually showing him actually what can be done in a court of phwoar. Nothing really wrong with this one, other than it’s surprisingly expensive and a little bit clichéd. Also too many photos may well lead to you being invited to the wedding, but not to be being a godfather.
2. Hire a Surprising Stripper
So why go with something as boring as a good looking lady in a basque? Why not go with a glamorous granny, a larger lady or even a gorgeous sexy fella? The laughs are bigger, the humiliation greater and far less likely to have compromising photos. The only real disadvantage is you may find you have revealed more about the groom then even he knew. And you’re explaining to a tearful bride why her beloved is visiting Marrakesh with Eddie Mercury or the Bolton pie festival with Large Linda, on her special day.
3. Chaining-Up to Things
This is another classic. Get a pair of handcuffs and abandon the poor fella attached to some railings or leave him on a train in the wrong direction. The difference between fun and disastrous is making sure that you leave the poor sod just long enough to panic. About half an hour is good enough before you unlock him or pick him up at the next station. It’s probably a good idea if you’re trying this one out that you make sure at least one of you isn’t drinking.
4. Get Creative with Stag Night Pranks
Tell the groom you’ve decided to eschew the usual stag night pranks and shenanigans – they’re too immature. You’re just going out for a pizza, or to see a band. Except – the music is all about the groom, the pizza restaurant comes under zombie attack. Whatever. Basically, if you’ve got a creative streak, let yourself go. And if you want to do some ambush drama or music, then jobbing actors and musicians are surprisingly cheap. For a few hundred quid, Gregg could find himself the subject of Gregg the Musical. Or the three tables next to him at Ask Pizza could contain his hitherto unknown fan club. So that’s it. Go out and recreate the spirit of Beadle. .But keep it good natured and most importantly safe. Remember jumping into things and off things when drunk can be dangerous and, again, it’s probably a good idea if at least one of you stays off the booze. Because if the groom doesn’t make it, you may find yourself having to get married in his place. Well, it’s only fair!