The Best Man Rules and 6 Pranks for Guys with Balls

best man helping bridegroom with lapel flowersThe Best Man holds an interesting place in any wedding. The same amount of recognition as the Maid of Honour, but (in my experience, and discovery through asking multiple women) not nearly the pressure or workload, or expectations. Where this skewing in responsibility comes from is tough to put a finger on. Perhaps men are just naturally more laid back, and a best man comes along as more of a sidekick than a party-planning committee.

Maybe it’s just a line of succession. The bride, more often than not, is the centre of the wedding (for obvious reasons). Then the groom comes in at second, which would put the maid of honour in the slot for the bronze. So just missing the podium of wedding importance is the Best Man, but that doesn’t mean he can skate by on the idea of just not losing the wedding bands. Weddings are evolving and changing, and the celebration options are growing. Let’s go through some Best Man rules, responsibilities, ideas, and ways you can be different.

Ditch the Strip Club – Think Personal

Maybe your Groom is the type who wants to make it rain, but then again, maybe not. A strip club can be costly, both monetarily and metaphorically. If you’re going to go (for tradition sake, of course), you can keep the trip light and quick, maybe a stop in a night of bachelor party events, as you inevitably try and re-enact the movie The Hangover (even though the people who made the The Hangover failed twice at trying to remake it, themselves). Does your Groom like to fish? Sure, it isn’t “getting plastered and rubbing a butt on your face,” but maybe camping is something that everyone could enjoy. Let me put it this way, I’ve never seen a camping trip escalate to the point where a wedding was called off.

You’re There For Support

Groom having cold feet? Remind him why he got to this situation in the first place:

“Remember when you told me you loved her? You knew she was the one. Weddings make you nervous because it’s one of the most important things that will ever happen to you. It wouldn’t be worth it if you didn’t feel nervous. Your nerves are just reminding you that this means the world to you.”

Something along those lines, to help him remember that she is the one. But if you find yourself saying something like this:

“Remember when you told me that you were getting married? You were so happy and drunk. I’m sure she’s hot. Which one is she, again? Dude, anyways, this is going to be so much fun. Blue tuxedos? Awesome.”

Maybe you should focus your support into a new decision. You’re his best man, after all.

Break the Ice at the Wedding

Everybody has seen the “oops, I lost the rings” bit pulled by a Best Man. It’s old, and maybe a bit tired. I’ve got some ideas for more creative pranks to pull during the ceremony:

  • When the officiant running the wedding says, “speak now, or forever hold your peace,” you nudge the Groom, and whisper loudly enough for everyone to hear – “you want me to do it now, bro?”
  • Wear the exact same dress as the bride.
  • Wear a nicer dress than the bride.
  • Carry a boom box with you during the entire ceremony, but never use it.
  • When you reach to get the rings out of your pocket, accidentally drop multiple condoms on the ground, each labelled with the name of a different bridesmaid (and one for the mother of the bride, if you’re the most daring individual on the planet).
  • Repeat what the officiant says, two seconds after he or she says it, word for word.

Use your better judgement with any of the above. After all, you’re the Best Man.

“May the Best Man Win”

**Hire Kyle to help you with your best man speech at www.laughstaff.com.

He writes for KorkedBats.com and CBS, is a staff writer for Laugh Staff, and has written for the Huffington Post, too. He was in the feature film Box Elder, which showed all over the country, as well as a few other flicks.

He runs a comedy show in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, called Game Night. He hosts the Almost (Internet) Famous sketch film awards. He specializes in short, concise sentences about his comedy career.

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