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The Alternative Best Man Speech

alternative best man speech 300x198 The Alternative Best Man Speech
“The song was great, but when Mark started riding around the marquee naked on the back of a winged horse, we felt he’d taken things too far.”

Struggling with your Best Man speech? Worried it’s gonna be a bit flaccid? Then why not try something a little out-of-the-ordinary…?

Before you read any further, it’s worth pointing out that over-complicating things without good reason isn’t a particularly good idea. Delivering a Best Man speech can be pretty daunting, but opting for something overly whacky or complicated out of pure fear may not necessarily be the answer, as it could cause you more trouble than it’s worth.

However, if you’re genuinely confident you can pull off something a little unexpected that people will be talking about for years (for the right reasons, that is!), then here are a few alternative best man speech ideas to get the juices flowing.

Deliver your speech through the medium of song

Funnily enough, I’m not necessarily of the opinion that you have to be a musician to pull this one off. In fact, if you’re too good people might consider it to be a bit smug. You may find you need to team up with someone who has a bit of know-how – perhaps a mate who plays guitar or has some experience writing lyrics – and it’s often a good idea to base what you’re doing on something well-known (a bit like Weird Al Yankovic’s Star Wars version of American Pie, for example) so that people have something to cling onto. Plus it saves you a butt-load of work.

Dazzle the congregation with a power-point presentation

A little bit of visual stimulation always takes the pressure off the speaker somewhat, but choose wisely – when people are sipping on the finest Chateauneuf du Pape they don’t really want to be staring at photos of the Groom’s nutsack in a pint glass. With a bit of careful preparation and canny image selection, you can put together a whistle-stop tour through the Groom’s life (complete with plenty of embarrassing school photos) that will have them rolling in the aisles.

Act out key moments in the Best Man’s life

This one is brave. If you’re not careful you could wind up going very ‘school play’ on everyone’s asses, which would be enormously awkward. But if you or some friends have acting experience, it could well be worth the risk. Just leave out the scene from the Stag Do where the Groom spent the night in a Grundon bin chained to a flatulant midget. He had enough trouble getting over that the first time round.

Host your own episode of ‘This Is Your Life’

As an extension of the last idea but with a specific theme, what about recreating the famous TV show ‘This Is Your Life’ with the Groom as your subject? Again, fairly high maintenance on the preparation front but if you pop on a Michael Aspel wig and download the theme music from the internet, you could be on to a real winner.

Shoot a mockumentary about The Wonder That Is The Groom

So maybe you’re plain terrified about speaking in front of other human beings, but you don’t mind acting up to a camera? Shooting an entire short film instead of giving a traditional speech would be pretty unorthodox – not to mention time-consuming and technically complex – but if done well it could potentially bring the house down. Plus there’s the added bonus of it being something everyone can enjoy on YouTube afterwards. Combine it with a little live commentary though, if you can, otherwise people might think you’re copping out!

The Best Man Rules and 6 Pranks for Guys with Balls

best man lapel flowers bridegroom 300x200 The Best Man Rules and 6 Pranks for Guys with BallsThe Best Man holds an interesting place in any wedding. The same amount of recognition as the Maid of Honour, but (in my experience, and discovery through asking multiple women) not nearly the pressure or workload, or expectations. Where this skewing in responsibility comes from is tough to put a finger on. Perhaps men are just naturally more laid back, and a best man comes along as more of a sidekick than a party-planning committee.
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Tips for Best Man Speech

You’re the best man and it’s time to write your speech. When you play the fool and make the audience laugh, feel a little light relief knowing you follow in a noble tradition? In the Battle of Sluys which began the 100 years war in the 14th century, the entire French fleet was sunk by the English.  King Philip of France’s ministers were terrified of how to tell him. In the end it fell to his court jester to say the English were cowards who ‘don’t even have the guts to jump into the water like our brave French.’
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